Sometimes I wonder if I am the unknowing star of a reality show--I wonder if there are hidden cameras all around me broadcasting my clumsy life. It would be entertaining to the viewers. Really, I think it might be a #1 hit. I would love to watch my life, if it weren't me living it. I would have loved to watch the time I ran into some one's shoulder and gave myself a black eye, or the time I jumped/fell off a stoop and simultaneously broke one ankle and sprained the other. Let's not forget about the time I was walking across a railroad tie, misplaced my foot, flew up in the air with my feet literally above my head, landed on my back, and had to spend the next 45 minutes on my hands and knees searching for my keys that flew out of my hands in the opposite direction. Oooh, then there was the time I was at Target and dropped a bookcase on my head. Yes, people, you read that right. Apparently it is possible. Another good one was the time I had an audience of at least 20 who witnessed me slip on a patch of ice, my books fly out of my arms up into the air and back down on my head. I have millions of these moments. I have moments like these on a daily basis. Today was no different:
So here I am, going about my daily routine. I have just gotten out of the shower and have my little towel tower on my head. It is time to blow dry the lions mane. I pull the towel off my head and bend over to shake out my hair. This slightly resembles horrible, awful, no good head banging. What a perfect description, because as I am 'head banging' I really do bang my head. Hard. On the edge of the counter. I get up and wait for the stars and birds to stop flying above me and continue with the routine. Out comes the blow dryer. A few days ago I discovered my blow dryer has a short somewhere. In order to get it to work I have to wrap the cord around the handle a couple times and hold it that way. So I wrap the cord and get to work. I have the dryer on for approximately 25 seconds when I notice and smell smoke. I turn off the dryer. Then I realize that I actually have to go into public today and really it would be best for all involved if I can at least dry my hair. Stupidly I turn the dryer back on. It is on for approximately 5 seconds when it catches on fire! No joke! My dryer was on fire, in my hand, 2 inches from my head! And to top it off, I just noticed it singed my hair!
Now really, wouldn't my life be an entertaining reality show?