Wednesday, May 23, 2007

5 Years


5 years. This is all we have with our kids. The rest of their lives, past their 5th birthday we have to share them with the world. 5 short years. Devin is turning 4 in August. What have I done with the last 4 years, and will it be enough to send him out into the world? Will he be prepared to make righteous choices? Was it enough to ground him in the gospel? Was it enough to help him choose righteous friends? Was it enough to give him the confidence he needs to make it? Does he know how much his mom and dad love him and how badly we want him to succeed? I only have one more year to instill all these things into my baby, and then he will be in kindergarten and the world will get to spend more time with him than me. I so wish that I could go back. Back to when he was a baby. I want to appreciate it all over again. I want to do so many things differently. I want to be a better teacher, a better mother. I want to have been more patient. I want to have enjoyed the trying times more fully. I want a second chance. Now that I am so close to losing my alone time with my baby I am scared. 5 years is not nearly enough time. I am not ready to share him yet. I am not ready for him to leave his little bubble. I realize I have one more year with my baby all to myself. I am bound and determined to do a better job in this one year than I did in the last 4, but will it be enough?

5 years. What are you doing with your 5 short years?

4 comments:

nicole said...

And he keeps getting cuter! He is a mini-Brad!

Ashley said...

You could always homeschool him! I hear that is becoming a popular choice. Then you would never have to share him.

Mckay said...

Now Ashley, I know we have discussed my views on home schooling before....

Harris Family said...

He does look so much like Brad! Love that hair though. Don't you love those darker eyes, so cute. And like I've said before, come out here, I'll be your workout buddy!